Amateur Hour:

Tonight is surrendered to the modern douche. Tonights Bags' exists so we dont have to. So we can hide in our hovels and feel safe knowing the foul winds of Axe bodyspray and chunky hairstyles/undecipherable handgestures/roid rage will not blow our way. No on this night: we surrender to the Douche and all of his resolve for the coming year. So now this:

Welcome to the end of the year. Now go get blown out and make resolutions you will never keep, but make you feel good as you rattle them off to people who dont really care. Enjoy your shitty hangover tomorrow knowing that every other douchebag on the planet suffers alongside you. My guess is that this is Seattle sewers busiest nght of the year.
I will have one cocktail in the comfort of my fortress, (once im off work) and then leave early in the morning for 21 days of shred. Ninja goes all Highway in 18 hours.
get ready pirate scum, for Snowy Henchbot Doom.
(Once I return I will make nice to a band of feral cats in chinatown and move off the beach, once and for all.)

Last time it was Mike Shinoda, who still lives in awesome world. This time its Mike V, also in awesome world.

Your NYE Henchmens' Mandate is the same as it ever was, and can be found here. I could cut n paste...I could type....I could do anything. This is just easier. And Im lazier. Your are doubtless dying to know who recieves my midnight blessing. This year, this moment will be unlike years past, typically suquestered in lair with some tender young lady of the night (or haggish sea crone to drunk to even sputter with joy)..This year: I will be on the phone with dear old gramma, wishing her the best. And I will mean it.
Im old and wizened now, fast becoming a pillar of salt. And phone calls to your grandmother at the stroke of 12 on NYE is brazen irrefutable evidence. Hnechmen: live the Mandate. Be the Mandate. Do it for me. Soil your mouths with expectation, inaugural and otherwise. 21 more days and the rest of our lives unfurls.
Shalom.